How long or often can someone justify abusive behavior b/c they are a manic dep. or have border. pers. disoder

I don't think it is justifiable. This is just abuse. The problem is that the one who is being abused has to decide when to make a stand. It may end up ending the relationship. People who are abused end up buying what the abuser says about them. They feel very insecure and don't think they can make it on their own and other people will see them as being to blame for what happened. Some people see through this behavior sooner than others and get out. Others go through a whole lot and may never leave. Be as supportive of your mom as you can. Would she have a place to go if her husband wouldn't leave their home?